Forgive Me
by Sarah32924
Summary: After Arizona cheats on Callie, will she be able to rebuild her life with the woman she loves? A/N Set right after Arizona sleeps with Lauren and walks out of the room. I'm not good with summaries, sorry. :P The first chapter is short, I apologize, but it gets better, I promise! :D
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I haven't written in a long time… So 'forgive me' if I seem a bit rusty… I just need to get back into the swing of things. I hope you all enjoy this. I will post more soon if you all would like!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Grey's Anatomy or any of the wonderful characters.

I never meant for this to happen… Sure, I enjoyed the attention that was given to me by Dr. Lauren Boswell. I haven't been feeling that great about myself lately and Lauren had given me back some of the confidence that I lacked. The flirting was harmless. That, and Lauren was going to be leaving after the surgery and I'd never see her again, so why not have a little fun?

But then temptation showed its ugly face. Lightning struck close by, the lights flickered, and I felt her lips on mine. The way my body responded to hers took me by surprise. After the lights came back on, I quickly snapped out of it, but the words she spoke next drew me in like a magnet and I was unable to break free from the pull.

Now, here I am sitting in the supply room, crying uncontrollably. The tears are burning my face, as if they are purposely inflicting pain upon me because I am unworthy of their destination down my cheeks. Because I am the one who chose to cheat. And now I have to face the fact that I probably just ruined the life Callie and I have built together. A life that I cherish and I am so lucky to have… But now no longer deserve.

Whether or not I am going to tell Callie is not a question. She deserves to know of my mistake. But will she ever be able to forgive me?

My thoughts are interrupted as I hear the door open. Quickly wiping the tears from my face and tucking my hair behind my ears, I busy myself by rummaging through various supplies.

"Oh! Hi, Dr. Robbins!" April cheerfully says, oblivious to my crying just moments before.

"Hi, April," I respond, grabbing something random and holding it up with a small smile. "Found what I needed. See you later." With that, I quickly escape the supply room.

Trying to avoid eye contact with everyone I pass, I desperately try to seek an empty on-call room. Spotting one with a cracked door, relief passes through my body. Bursting through the door, I freeze as my eyes set upon those raven locks cascading down the back of the woman I love. I can tell I startled her because she jumps and spins around. She smiles at me… Gosh, that smile…

"Hey there," she beams. "I am just grabbing a couple more pillows and blankets for us. I set up a room…" She pauses, taking in my swollen, red eyes and concern is written all over her face. She drops the pillow in her hands and walks over to me, taking my hands into hers. "What's wrong, Arizona? Are you okay?"

"Callie…" How do I tell the woman I love that I broke our vows? Looking into her dark chocolate, brown eyes, I know I don't deserve her. "Can we talk?"

Her eyebrows furrow and she nods. "Of course," she says, leading me to one of the beds and sits down. She lightly pulls my hand for me to sit down next to her, but I withdraw my hands from hers and start pacing slowly. "Arizona, what's going on?" She asks.

"Callie…" I pause, still pacing, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I turn to sit next to her, tension seeping through every pore of my body. Reclaiming her hands, I look up into those confused brown orbs. "I've done something terrible, babe…" With that statement the tears start again and I feel my hands trembling. As Callie's expressions turns fearful, I feel bile rise up in my throat. I swallow it down, knowing I have to tell her. "I-I slept with Dr. Boswell…" Tears start flowing freely down my face and I see her face turn ghostly white. "Callie, I am so s-sorry. P-please, forgive me-e." Sobs wreak havoc over my body again and I am having a hard time getting the words out.

She closes her eyes, and I know what she is thinking. "Get out." My body is burning.

"Callie, I-"

"I said GET OUT!" She opens her eyes, tears threatening to fall. Her lip is quivering as she looks into my eyes, pain of my betrayal flowing almost tangibly out of her fingers through mine. She rips her hands away, realizing I still haven't moved, and she gets up and storms off, leaving me sitting here paralyzed. I deserve everything that has yet to come…


	2. Chapter 2

Callie has said one thing to me since I told her three days ago that I slept with Lauren. She told me that she would be moving some of her things into Mark's place, staying close enough so that Sofia was affected as little as possible, and not in the same apartment as me for her own sake. That was all… I know that she needs her space, but I long to tell her what happened and why. Obviously there is no reasonable excuse for what I have done. I've hurt her the worst way a partner could hurt the other.

A knock at the door brings me out of my thoughts. It's her. I can hear her talking to Sofia. I hear a light giggle come from Callie as I approach the door, knowing that as soon I as open it, any trace of happiness will fall from her face. Taking a shaky breath, I grasp the door knob and put on a smile for my little girl. "Hi, baby!" I exclaim, truly happy as she reaches her arms out to me and I take her from Callie. "How's my sweet angel? Mommy missed you!" I shower her face with kisses, hugging her close. Stealing a glance at Callie's face, I see pain and rage brewing in her eyes. Stepping inside to let Callie into the apartment, I heave Sofia into the air and spin her around, causing her to erupt into a fit of giggles. I put her down and she instantly spots one of her toys and goes directly to it.

You could slice the tension in the room with a knife.

"She's been asking for you…" Callie spoke, not able to look me in the eyes, keeping her sights on Sofia.

"Thank you for bringing her. I've missed her… And you…" Shit, I let that one slip.

Her eyes look up at me. "Don't." She says, tears forming, but they never fall.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to say it. I know you're angry and upset-"

"Angry and upset? That doesn't even begin to cover it, Arizona." Callie's voice breaks saying my name and I see her chin quiver. Oh, how I want to walk those few steps over to her and wrap her in my arms and take her pain away…

"I know. I'm sorry." I say again.

"Stop apologizing, Arizona," she glares. "You keep apologizing, and no matter how many times you do, it won't matter. I'm not ready to forgive you, yet." YET. She said 'yet!' She looks down at her feet, defeat causing her shoulders to drop. She looks exhausted.

"Okay, I'm-"I stop myself. Her head snaps up and she raises one perfect eyebrow at me. "Okay." I correct. "You look tired, Callie." I put lightly.

She sighs, walking over to the couch behind where Sofia was playing. "I am. This," she motioned with her hands her and I, "is keeping me up at night. And not only that, but I am staying at Mark's place. All I want to do when I am there is walk into his room and see him laying in bed and talk like we used to. Staying there makes me miss him even more. None of this is easy, Arizona…"

"Then stay here, Callie. I will sleep on the couch. I won't bother you. I-"

"No." Callie shakes her head. "I don't know if I can be in the same apartment as you…"

"You are right now." I offer in a whisper. It's true, isn't it? And we're actually talking.

For a few seconds it seemed like she was actually thinking about it. "Fine, but I'm not ready to talk… It's still too fresh, Arizona. And I don't want you to think that just because I am here that we are going to be okay. Because in all honesty, I don't know if can be."

I nod, even though the last part she said made my heart fall into my stomach. 'My fault.' I remind myself. "Are you working tonight?" I ask looking at the clock. It was 7:15pm. Callie shook her head. "Okay, I'm going to put Sofia to bed and change and then you can have the bedroom. I'll be quick." I gather up Sofia, whose eyes instantly started falling the second I picked her up. "Come on, baby girl. Let's go."

After giving her kisses and tucking her in, Sofia is out. I can't help but stare at her as she sleeps. She is beautiful. Just like Callie…

I remember that Callie is waiting for me to change so she can have the room, so I quietly walk out of Sofia's room into ours. Rummaging through my dresser, I see all my silky nighties and lingerie, quickly dismissing them and settling for my go-to boy shorts and a large t-shirt. When I re-enter the living room, Callie has her head in her hands. I walk slowly up to her and rest my hand upon her shoulder. "I'm all set." She pulls away from my touch, understandably, and looks up into my eyes, daring me to do it again. I can take a hint… I back away and turn my attention to the closet in the hallway, gathering the extra blanket and pillow we keep in there, and make my way to the couch and set up my "bed." By the time I look back up, I see our bedroom door shut. My heart sinks a bit, but knowing that we are at least in the same apartment together, and that my baby girl is tucked into her bed, I might be able to get some rest.

Just as I am about to take off my prosthetic, I swear I hear something in our room. Walking quietly to the door, I press my ear against it. It's Callie. She's crying. My heart is breaking for her. Why did I have to do this to her? My eyes well up with tears as I press my hand to the door, breathing shakily. "I love you, Callie." I whisper. "Goodnight."

*A/N: I hope you are enjoying it so far! Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!*


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews!**

I feel my blanket moving and a small figure cuddle up next to me, filling my heart with love. Smiling, I open my eyes and look down at my beautiful daughter's face." Hey, baby girl." I say, gathering her into my arms and snuggle her close. For the first time in days I feel somewhat rested.

Looking up with questioning eyes, Sofia asks, "Where Mom?"

I sit up slightly, looking over at our bedroom and the door is open. Peering inside, I see the bed is made, and any trace of Callie is gone. Looking back down to Sofia, I run my hand through her messy hair with a smile. "She is at work, sweetie. Want to go see her?" Sofia's face lights up and she flashes me an award winning smile. Callie's smile… "Okay, let's go eat and get dressed and we can go see her." I place a kiss on her forehead and squeeze her tight before she gets up and walks over to my prosthetic, waiting for me to put it on. A slight pang hits my heart, but I force it away. There is no more feeling sorry for myself. This is my life, now. And it's not as important as rebuilding my family.

An hour later, Callie walks into the daycare at the hospital, answering my page. She glances over at me, uneasiness written all over her face, before turning her attention to Sofia. "Hello, Sofia!" She beams. As she gathers our little girl into a big hug, I can't help but hope that there will be a day that she will greet me as happily.

"Zola!" Sofia exclaims, causing Callie and I to turn around, spotting Derek walking Zola into the daycare. Sofia walks as fast as she can to Zola, quickly forgetting that Callie or I are even here. Derek gives us a small smile before placing a kiss on Zola's forehead and hurries off to surgery.

Drawing in a shaky breath, I glance at Callie through the corner of my eye. She is standing there like a statue, and I can tell she wants to get away from me as soon as possible. With a sigh, I look down at the floor, playing with my fingers. I can feel her eyes on me, causing me to carefully look back up. What a mistake… For the first time, I see something different in her eyes. It's hard to tell, but could it be…longing? Smiling weakly at her, I take two steps closer. She flinches at my movements, but doesn't step back. Standing side by side watching our little girl playing with Zola, my hand grazes hers ever so lightly and I hear a sharp intake of breath coming from her full lips. "Arizona…" She whispers, her eyes close, a faint painful expression forming on her face. I can't seem to stop myself. I take her hand, startling her, and lead her out of the daycare and into an on-call room. "Arizona, what are you doing?" Callie says, sorrow hanging on every word. Without thinking, I pull her into an embrace. I feel her tense and then try to pull away, but I hold on with everything I have. "Let go!" Forceful words continue to escape her mouth, proving to be in vain as finally, I feel her slump and wrap her arms around my waist. She brings a hand up, gently grabbing my hair and buries her face into my neck. Seconds later I feel her shaking and I feel tears start seeping through my white coat.

We stand there for what seems like eternity. "I'm sorry, Callie. I'm so sorry." I whisper. I know that me consoling her is a double edge sword, but deep inside, I know that I am the only one she truly has that can be here for her like I can… Even if I am the one who caused this.

"I miss you…" She whimpers, sniffling. Pulling back and looking at me, those beautiful brown eyes now red and swollen. I reach up slowly and brush the unrelenting tears from her cheeks and she leans her face into my touch.

"I miss you, too, Calliope… What are we going to do?" I ask, my voice just above a whisper.

She gazes back into my eyes, confusion, pain, anger, and love swirling around piercing through. "I don't know. I-I want to try and work things out, but everything is so messed up…" She pauses and I know what's coming next. "Why, Arizona? Why did you do it?"

I lead Callie to one of the beds, and my heart clenches as she sits as far from me as possible. Taking a deep breath, I give her the truth. "I didn't know who I was anymore, Callie. I tried so hard to make myself better for you and Sofia- our family. But it seemed the more I tried, the more I lost myself." I must have been subconsciously rubbing my stub because she looked at my movements and back up at me. Anger flared in her eyes.

"This was about YOUR LEG? For God's sake, Arizona." Disgust laced words erupt from her.

"Callie, wait." She shakes her head, but lets me continue. "I didn't like the person I saw when I stood in front of the mirror… She was an incomplete person, and not just physically. When I lost my leg, Callie, it took something from my soul. I have always been very sure of everything about myself and everything around me all my life, and that was gone-"

"But we were doing okay! We were working things out and we were happy!" Callie interjected, tears brimming in her eyes.

"I know. I was happy with you and Sofia. I worked through that. But no matter what I did to feel good about myself, nothing worked." I looked down at my hands, feeling them start to tremble.

"Arizona, I have told you countless times that you are the most beautiful, sexy woman I have ever laid eyes on. I tried so hard to be intimate with you, but you would just shrug me off…"

"Callie, I did believe the words you said, truly. But it also felt like… 'She's my wife. She will love me no matter what I look like.' Not that I want to, but I don't get hit on anymore, Calliope. And when La-" I stop myself from saying her name as I see Callie's face flush, "she showed me that attention, for the first time in a long time…I really felt…desirable. I know this is no excuse. I didn't want for it to happen. It was all very harmless until it came down to it, I promise. I have no feelings for her. I don't want to see her ever again…" I stop as I see her in a trance. "…Callie?"

A few moments went by until her eyes flashed with anger at me. "Was she good?"

I knew this would happen… But again, it's my fault… "Do you really want to know?" I ask. She doesn't respond, so I decide to take that as a yes and continue. "The sex was that in itself… Just sex. I didn't feel with her what I do with you. There was no real connection. Just sex. And immediately after, I felt dirty, disgusting, unworthy of you…" I pause, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I am, Callie… Unworthy of you…" Tears prick my eyes, even though I have no right to be crying.

"Yeah." She said flatly and went back into a trance.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I didn't dare speak. Finally she broke the silence. "I get that you didn't feel beautiful… I get that. I just don't get why you couldn't just stop. Even if you had started to and just stopped… I would at least know you didn't forget about me. 'Cause that's what hurts me the most, Arizona. You forgot about me for whole time you were…" She didn't say it, too painful for her to get the words out.

"I would do anything; give anything…to take back what I did. I never meant to hurt you, Callie. It's the last thing I ever wanted to do… Not even." I scoot closer to her and she gives me a warning look. "Please, Callie." When she doesn't respond I continue to move over closer to her and rest my hand on top of hers, and she reluctantly laces her fingers with mine. "Are we going to be okay?" My eyes search hers for hope.

She sighs. "I don't know, Arizona. It's so hard wanting to hold you, kiss you, and touch you when all I can think of is…" Her gaze shifts down to our hands.

Using my free hand, I tenderly cup her chin and bring her focus back to my eyes, our faces just mere centimeters apart. I plead, "Can we try? Please, Callie. I'll give you time and space; whatever you need me to do I will do it… But can you please try to forgive me of my mistake?" I feel my lip quivering and I realize that tears are freely flowing one after the other. "I-I don't want to lose you, Callie. And I know it's not about me… B-but you're my world. Without you and Sofia…I'm nothing."

Her eyes search mine. I can tell she is looking for truth; love. Little does she know that I have never meant anything so much in my life as I do right now. "Okay." She whispers. My heart flutters and my stomach feels like a bat cave at her response.

"Okay?" I repeat, relief washing over me. A small smile creeps its way to my lips. There's hope.

"Okay. We can try…"

**A/N: Thank you all for reading! I hope you are enjoying it! More to come soon. Please review so I know what you all think! Xo.**


	4. Chapter 4

It's been a week since Callie said that she was willing to try to forgive me. She has since moved her things back home from Mark's apartment and has been home every night. I still sleep on couch, which I probably will for quite some time. I'm okay with that because I know that she has it hard enough just trying to live her day-to-day life with me here at home _and_ at work. The bedroom for her is like an escape. But let me just say…I miss her warmth, the way our bodies fit perfectly as we lay together under the blanket, her smell, and how she makes me feel safe.

The first couple of days we spoke very few words… When we did speak, I let her be the one to start the conversation. I didn't want to push her at all. But as the days went on, we shared more with each other and I feel like the atmosphere is beginning to get a little less tense and more comfortable between us. I'm not naïve, don't get me wrong. I know that the road we must travel will be long and bumpy…and that's if we even make it out of this.

We have been trying to fall back into our old routines, which seems to be working out… Well, minus the stolen kisses, showers together, flirting, and her laugh. Her laugh… I miss it so much. We have been doing everything possible to make sure that Sofia doesn't see a change in us. I really hope we are succeeding in that. So far, she doesn't seem affected at all.

"Arizona!" I hear Callie call to me from the bedroom. Not what I was expecting.

Walking cautiously into our bedroom, I see her laying there in bed with her back facing me. "Yes?" I ask sheepishly. I hope I haven't done something…

"Come here, please." She sniffles. Is she crying? I hurriedly walk to her side of the bed to face her. Nope, not crying. She starts sneezing and I can see her body shaking. Her skin is pale, aside from her bright red nose. "I'm not feeling well. Please call the hospital and let them know I'm in no shape to be there-" She pauses, putting her hand to her mouth. Jumping out of bed, she passes me, nearly knocking me over in the process, and runs into the bathroom. Within seconds, I hear her throwing up. Out of instinct, I follow her into the bathroom, and gently pull her hair away from her face as she continues emptying her stomach. When the wave of nausea subsides, she nods and I let go of her smooth, raven hair. She scoots over to the wall and leans her head back, breathing heavily, eyes closed. I walk over to the sink and reach into the bottom drawer and retrieve a face cloth, wet it with cool water, and place it behind Callie's neck. She starts shivering. Maybe the cloth was a bad idea… I go to remove the face cloth and she stops me, her hand holding mine in place. She opens her eyes and gazes up at me.

"Do you want me to leave it?" I ask. She simply nods and closes her eyes, but doesn't let go of my hand.

After a few moments pass, she whispers, "Like I was saying… Can you please call the hospital and tell them I will not be in today?" She lets my hand go and lies down on the bathroom floor.

"Of course, Callie." I say. I feel terrible for her… As if she hasn't already gone through enough these past couple of weeks. Now this.

After I make a couple of phone calls in the living room, I hear footsteps as Callie emerges from the bathroom. She goes into a kitchen cabinet and retrieves a large bowl to bring back into the bedroom with her and slowly walks back to bed. Should I follow her? I ponder on this for a few moments before deciding to. I make a pit stop to Sofia's room, checking on my napping angel. She is out cold, which makes me smile. She always looks so peaceful when sleeping.

Standing in the doorway of our bedroom, I see Callie shivering in the same position as before. I quietly clear my throat. "I let Owen know we won't be in today." I say, removing my blouse and replacing it with a baggy t-shirt. "And Mer will be over to get Sofia shortly." Callie turns as I am removing my pants, and I try to quickly cover myself. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to change real quick and didn't think you'd turn around…" I trailed off. I don't know the limits yet… It's kind of a working progress.

"It's okay…" She says, taking in the sight, which causes me to blush. "You can continue." Laying on her back, she rests her head back onto the pillow. I turn to my dresser and remove a pair of sweats, knowing she is probably reluctantly checking me out, and quickly put them on. She clears her throat as I turn back to face her. "You're not going in? And why is Meredith picking up Sofia?" She finally asks.

I walk slowly to the bed, pausing for a moment until she gives me a nod to join her, and I lay on my side facing her. "I'm going to take care of you," I say sweetly. "And Meredith is getting Sofia so she doesn't catch this. She said she didn't mind, and that it would help keep Zola busy so she can try to relax. The little man hasn't been giving her a moment to breathe." I explain.

"You don't have to stay-" Callie starts.

"Listen," I cut her off, "I don't mind. I want to." I gently move some of her hair away from her eyes. She closes them at my touch.

"Okay." She breathes. "Tell Sof I love her." She says sleepily.

"I will." Within seconds she is fast asleep. I wait a few minutes to make sure I don't wake her before going to get Sofia's things together. As if she knew she was going for a play-date, she wakes up and decides to help; packing her favorite toys and a surprise for Zola. She's so cute.

Meredith arrives shortly after and I thank her again. She doesn't stay long, just enough time for me to sprinkle kisses over Sofia's face and say bye.

Retreating back to the bedroom with a glass of water and some saltines for Callie, I notice she has turned back on her side facing the wall. Her shivering is noticeably worse since I left last. I know I may be pushing some limits here, but I can't just stand by and watch her freeze. After setting the saltines and water on my nightstand, I gently lift the comforter and slide in behind her. She stirs for a moment, but falls back to sleep instantly. I wrap my arm around her body and around her arms, taking her hand in mine, and snuggle close, our bodies melting together for the first time in eleven days. I must have awakened her after doing that, but she laces our fingers together, and I feel her instantly relax into me. Willing my body to warm hers up, she soon stops shaking, and a smile moves to my lips.

"Thank you." She whispers, and after a few moments her breathing evens out and I know she is sleeping again.

"You're welcome, honey." I whisper back, planting a featherweight kiss on the back of her neck and soon feel myself falling fast asleep with her in my arms.

**A/N: I really appreciate the reviews! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I just want to explain real quick that I know most people are looking for Callie to take her time in the forgiving process, if she forgives Arizona at all. I am, too. I'm in no way trying to rush things with them. Please keep this in mind. While I know Callie is upset and angry, I try to keep in mind that I need to be honest with these two…They have a lot of love underneath the pain. I know I can't please everyone…but I just want you to try to understand my thought process. BUT, thank you all, again. Another update will be coming soon! Please review! Xo**


	5. Chapter 5

Last night was a bad night for us. We had a horrible fight. And I don't even know where it started… One minute she and I are kissing Sofia goodnight and the next she is jumping down my throat. I know that she is conflicted about how well things have been going with us lately. She doesn't feel like it should be this easy…

My bed has still been the couch. The day I took care of her was a one-time thing. Last night after our fight she slammed the bedroom door shut, not even allowing me access to get a change of clothes for bed. Today we managed to go without seeing each other at all at work and she has still not come home yet. As I begin to wonder if she will even come home tonight my thoughts are put to a stop as I hear a key in the lock. Quickly covering myself up and closing my eyes, I fake sleep.

She enters quietly, barely making any noise moving throughout the house. Laying still and breathing heavy to pretend sleep, I hear her make her way to the bedroom and the door shut. Sighing, I throw the blanket off of myself and grab my crutches and make my way to the kitchen to grab some water. I don't know what to say to her. I don't even know if she has cooled off since last night. All I know is that the more I stay away from her, the easier it is.

"You're awake." Hearing her voice behind me nearly causes me to choke on my water. Placing my cup in the sink, I turn to face her.

"Yeah, I just wanted to get some water. Sorry, I just didn't want to bother you…" I start to make my way back to the living room to go to bed when she reaches a hand out and places it on my shoulder to stop me.

"Are we going to talk about what happened last night or are you just going to avoid me?" She sounds angry. Avoiding this was my goal tonight, but this is the mess I made and I need to buck up and deal with it.

I simply nod in response to her and after a few moments she gives me an expectant look and raises her eyebrows. Clearing my throat, I say no louder than a whisper, "Can we please go sit down? I…these crutches are starting to hurt…" I look down, a bit embarrassed.

"Lead the way." She says and follows me into the living room. We take seats at opposite ends of the couch facing each other. After sitting in silence for a several long seconds, she starts. "I do apologize for last night." I see her start playing with her hands, her voice softening, but not by much. She is glaring at me, her eyes never leaving mine.

"It's not your fault, Callie. I-"

"You're damn right it's not, Arizona!" I feel my face fall at her words and start playing with a loose thread on the blanket in my lap. I can't look her in the eyes right now. I know I will just come undone. "For God's sake, we would never be in this position if it weren't for you! Do you think I like how we fought last night? OVER NOTHING?! We fought about what to dress Sofia up in for today, which then escalated to other things and so on." She pauses, "Look at me!"

I reluctantly bring my eyes to hers. She is fuming. "I don't like it any more than you do, Callie." I say softly. "Less, even. Do you not think I lay here every night missing your touch? Or when I see you doing the dishes or cooking that I long to wrap my arms around you and kiss your neck and hold you like I used to? I miss everything about you. About us. And I beat myself up EVERY DAY-," a lump forms in my throat and I fight to swallow it down, failing. The sobs wrack my body and my face falls into my hands. I cry for a minute and look back up at her. "I hate myself for doing this to you, Callie." My voice is shaky and firm at the same time. "You could never begin to understand how angry I am at myself for hurting you. If you think you're mad at me, I am one hundred percent certain it doesn't even compare to how I feel…" The angry words spill out of my mouth as the tears continue. So many emotions are playing on her face and it's now her turn to look down.

Minutes pass in silence, aside from the occasional sniffles. She still won't look at me. I don't blame her. I'm a disgrace… Sore as I am, I scoot myself across the couch to sit in front of her and wipe the tears from my face. I don't dare touch her right now… "I don't deserve you." My voice comes out smaller than I expect, but it all rings true. "Callie, you deserve so much more than me. I can't expect to have or accept your forgiveness when I can't even forgive myself. You are the most astounding, kind hearted, beautiful woman I have ever known and-"

She silences me, bringing her lips to mine. My breath gets caught in my throat and my body takes a second to catch up to hers, but it quickly responds. I bring one hand up to cup her cheek and the other finds its way into those beautiful raven locks. I feel her hands on me as her tongue snakes out and seeks entrance. Giving her access, our tongues dance together for what seems like eternity. Unfortunately, the need for air becomes apparent and we reluctantly pull our lips apart, and she rests her forehead on mine.

Where did that come from, I ask myself as we try to catch our breaths. She brings her hands up to my hair and laces her fingers through my blonde curls. The contact feels amazing and I sigh in contentment.

"I love you, Arizona." She whispers almost inaudibly. And with that, she withdraws herself from the couch and goes into our room, leaving me confused and shocked.

***A/N: Sorry it took me a while to update! Lots of things kept me away from writing, and I sincerely apologize! I hope you are enjoying this so far! Please review and let me know what you think! Xoxo.***


	6. Chapter 6

I still can't get over our kiss last night. It's the only thing I can think of. All of our emotions were poured into that one kiss; pain, heartache, relief, longing, love… I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't one of the most meaningful, passionate kisses we have ever experienced together.

Walking out of the scrub room and to the nurses' station, goose bumps take over every surface of my body as I see her standing there going over a chart with Karev. Taking a deep breath, I approach them and give the best smile I can muster.

"Hey, guys. Anything good?" I really need to work on getting better control of my voice…

She looks up and a small smile forms on those amazing lips, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Ten year-old fell out of his tree house and broke his leg in three places and has some minor internal injuries. Karev and I are working out our game plan and should be scrubbing in soon." She keeps it professional, which I get.

"Anything I can do? I don't have any surgeries scheduled for the rest of the night." I offer.

"No, I think we got this one covered." Karev gives a smile.

"Okay." Disappointment manages to escape in my voice, but I quickly recover. "In that case, I'm going to head out. Callie, Mer is taking Sofia for the night. Zola has been begging for a sleepover. I hope you don't mind."

"No, that's fine. I'll go say goodbye to her before I scrub in. Thanks for letting me know." Callie says and looks back to Karev. "We good here?"

"Yep, I'll go get him prepped. See you in a bit." Karev says and walks off with the chart.

"I'll see you later." I say to Callie, awkwardly standing there wishing I could kiss her goodbye.

"Okay." She offers a weak smile, sadness showing through her eyes.***

"I'll take another, Joe." I haven't drank like this in a long time. But let me tell you, this TOTALLY takes the edge off!

"Are you sure, Arizona? This seems like more than your usual." Joe asks concerned.

I tap on the bar motioning for another. "Don't fret. I got this." My head is so fuzzy and I love it. I haven't felt this good in a while.

"You got it." He puts another shot in front of me and I gladly take it from him and toss it back. The liquid burns my throat as it goes down and I savor it.

"Ya know, Joe, I don't know why I haven't done this more often." Getting up, I stumble a bit but regain my balance holding onto the bar. I start laughing at myself.

"Rough day?" He asks.

"Rough day, weeks, months… Yeah. But hey, I have no one to blame but myself, right?" I say, laughter bubbling out of my mouth. The music starts filtering through my ears and I start dancing, eyes closed. Maybe my eyes being closed is a bad idea. Yep. Definitely! Suddenly I feel myself falling, but manage to not hit the floor. Someone is holding me up. I start laughing at myself again as I look up to see who my savior is. Figures… "Calliope! What brings you here?"

She moves me back into a standing position as I'm still laughing, holding onto the bar and her shoulder for stability.

"One of our colleagues came to me after I got out of surgery saying you were hitting the shots pretty hard and said I should check on you..." Concern and some other emotion is written on her face, but I can't make it out. I'm too drunk to try and figure that one out. "How much have you had to drink, Arizona?"

I straighten myself up and make my soberest face. "Oh, just a couple shots. Right, Joe?" I turn my face towards him and the room spins and I lose my balance. Callie catches me again.

"Okay, let's get you home." She hands Joe her credit card.

"No, it's okay. I'm fine." I try to pull out of her solid grip on me.

"No you're not. Come on, Arizona." She puts her card back in her pocket after Joe cashes my drinks out.

"I don't want to leave." I fight loose. "Seriously, Callie. I'm fine!" Anger seeps out of my words. "You don't need to take care of me. I'm a big girl. I'm fine."

"You're embarrassing yourself, Arizona. People are watching." She warns loud enough for only me to hear.

"Let them." I say and stumble away to the bathroom. I splash water on my face and as I am drying myself off, I hear the door shut behind me and I see her in the reflection of the mirror.

"Arizona, please. Let's just go home." She pleads, but her voice is still firm.

I turn to face her, "Why, so I can go back to the life I screwed up? You know, for the few hours I have been here, I managed to forget how much I hate myself and forgot all the mistakes I've made and even the fact that I only have one leg." I laugh pitifully at the last part. "It felt great."

"You don't get to stand there and feel sorry for yourself, Arizona." She snaps at me.

"No, I don't have that right, do I?" I spit back. I'm so angry that tears start falling down my cheeks.

"Let's just get you home, Arizona." She moves towards me and grasps my hand in hers, her voice softer.

I look at our hands and then back up at her. "Why did you kiss me last night?" I ask, defeat taking over me.

She sighs and looks down, and slowly closes the distance between us. When she brings her eyes back to mine it feels like the world stops. This never gets old. I always get lost in her eyes. "Because I love you, Arizona. And I know that you truly are sorry…"

"You do?" I ask, relief slowly starts working its way through my muscles and I feel myself relax a little. I didn't realize how tense I was.

She nods. "I want us back, Arizona." She whispers.

"Me, too."

"Will you come home with me, now? We can finish talking when we get home." She pulls away slightly, pulling my hand with hers. With a nod, she leads me out of the bar. "Are you able to walk home or should we get a cab?"

I didn't realize how much our short conversation sobered me up. "I can walk." She gives me an 'are you sure?' face and I nod.***

Throwing my clothes into the hamper, I move to walk out of the bedroom as she walks in, stopping me dead in my tracks. She looks so cute with her sweats and tank top, her hair in a messy bun. It brings a full dimpled smile to my face.

"What?" She smiles back.

"Nothing." I reply.

"Oookay." She laughs lightly, but it doesn't take long before her face straightens and she starts looking conflicted again. "So… What now?" She asks, moving around me and sits on the end of the bed.

Turning to face her, I run a hand through my hair and fold my arms across my chest. "This is all about you, Callie…" My head is still fuzzy, a lot less, but I am still having a little struggle trying to find the right words to say. "I know you want us back, as do I, but are you sure you're ready? I don't want you to rush things…"

"I know… But when we kissed last night, Arizona…it… I don't know. It made me feel like everything was going to be okay. I haven't felt like that since…" She stops, but I know what she wants to say and I nod. "I know that we still have a lot of work to do, but I feel better now." She gently grabs my arms away from my chest and carefully pulls me to stand directly in front of her. Looking up at me with her beautiful, brown eyes, I can't help but smile, dimples and all. And for the first time in months, a full fledge Calliope Torres smile appears on her face.

I close my eyes, still smiling, and breathe a sigh of relief. "You have no idea how much I have wanted to see you smile again, Callie." Opening my eyes, she stands and gently weaves her fingers through my blonde curls, staring at me. Her smile slowly fades.

"Please don't make my smile go away again." She softly pleads, causing me to cast my eyes downward to her lips and back to her eyes. There is fear lurking in them and I shake my head slowly.

"Never again, Callie. I promise." I whisper.

The corners of her mouth twist up and she gently pulls my lips to hers in a tender kiss. I sigh contently, bringing my hand to her cheek, gently stroking the soft skin. I've missed this for so long. She breaks the kiss and slowly pulls away. "Will you come to bed with me?" She smiles, causing me to smile.

"I'd love to." I take my prosthetic off as she crawls into bed and I soon join her. I lay on my back and she scooches over to me, resting her head between my neck and shoulder and wraps an arm around my waist.

"I've missed this." She whispers, her eyes closed, a light sigh escaping her lips.

"I love you, Callie." I hold her in my arms and place a kiss on top of head, breathing in the glorious scent of her hair.

"I love you, too."

She is asleep shortly after, but I remain awake for a few minutes longer, just listening to her breathe. Holding her in my arms has never felt so good.

***A/N: Thank you for the reviews! Should I continue or end it here? Let me know! Xoxo.


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